As I near the end of this journey, I am thinking back to my first trimester and am in shock at how quickly it seems time has passed. (You can find my reaction to getting a positive test result HERE).
At 8 weeks we entered our OBGYN’s office and the second she squeezed the cold gel on my belly and turned on the sound, we knew everything in our lives had changed, because we would do anything to keep that rapid, little heartbeat going.
“There’s your little jellybean. This is a big milestone.”
My husband and I switched between staring at the screen and each other so fast we both got dizzy.
We were going to have a baby.
“How are you dealing with the exhaustion and nausea?”
When the internet tells you that you will be exhausted, it doesn’t tell you that you will be fall-asleep-when-you-blink-exhausted and cry-in-the-bathroom-at-work-because-you-are-exhausted-exhausted.
It also does not mention that morning sickness is a lie.
My nausea lingered all day, morning, mid-morning, early afternoon, noon, late afternoon, twilight, evening, late evening and even in the middle of the night, everyday up until 11 or 12 weeks. I woke up nauseas, and had to mentally prepare myself for brushing my teeth. The good news was, I did not throw up… Perhaps I was one of those women who don’t throw up? I had not thrown up since I was about 10 years old with a bad stomach bug.
Ha ha ha. Little did I know I would be travelling with an “emergency vomit packet” in my bag and car over the next few weeks.
My carb cravings stood strong and a creamy pasta seemed like a delicious idea. Let me tell you, it didn’t seem that way when I stared at that same pasta in the bathtub because the toilet, a mere 7 steps away, was too far away. There it was, my body’s betrayal. It didn’t want pasta – WHAT KIND OF BODY DOES NOT WANT PASTA?
Too nauseas to clean it up, my poor husband had to step in.
*Creamy, rich foods removed from diet*
A few successful (albeit) nauseas days went by and then it hit me like a bus at an inconvenient time (not that I can think of a convenient time to be hit by a bus). At work, at my desk, I felt a massive “OH NO”, walked as quickly as possible to the bathroom and this time, made it to the toilet – SUCCESS (it’s the small victories that count).
The orange juice and apple I had eaten were also rejected. To make matters worse, the toilets at our offices had a mirror finish on the flusher, so I got a front row viewing of the situation.
A quick unreasonable cry and mouth rinse and I was back at work, vowing to never have orange juice again (the acidity was not a good idea).
*High acidity foods removed from diet*
I knew this was going to be a bad idea, but I never realised how bad. An aromatic, warm plate of biryani seemed like a good idea going down, and here I am going to apologise for TMI, but when rice grains are being propelled through your nostrils, you regret everything. RICE GRAINS CAME OUT OF MY NOSE AND I HAD NO CONTROL OVER IT.
*Spicy foods removed from diet*
And so, after eliminating all the foods the internet had warned me to avoid and the foods that oddly, nauseated me (the smell of chicken), the nausea became manageable and the throwing up was reduced to once every three days. My diet consisted of toast, crackers, salt and vinegar chips and the occasional sip of ginger beer – Ah, the Kwetsa.
And just when you are about to give up hope that you will ever eat a spicy, tomato-based, creamy pasta again, it just disappears. All of a sudden, I was hungry.
All of a sudden, I was RAVENOUS.